If your boyfriend plays in a fantasy football league and you know as much about fantasy football as you do about biochemistry, then I'm on your team.

For the first couple of weeks after I'd heard about this phenomenon, I thought my guy friends were talking about a new PlayStation game or something. When it finally reached the point where I couldn't have a conversation with the guy I'm dating without hearing terms like "depth chart," "free agent" and "IDP" in every other sentence, I began to get curious. That, and I started to feel like we were speaking two different languages. In reality, he was just tuning me out to focus on the game, and I just didn't understand fantasy terminology. When he and his friends got together it was like they were talking in Pig Latin or sign language, the middle finger being the most used sign.

Now, I didn't let my curiosity get to me right away. I figured, he's a guy, let him do his "jock" thing; he can enjoy his football games and I can watch reruns of Sex and the City. That is, until my television remote got smashed because of Terrell Owens' broken finger -- then it became clear that my pseudo boyfriend's fantasy world was colliding with my reality. So I started Googling. A click of the mouse later and I was face to face with a whole other universe I had no idea existed, or that I at least pretended didn't exist until I was forced to confront it.

I found some interesting Web sites and did some research; however, the first thing to catch my attention was that some women somewhere created something called the FFL, a.k.a. the Fantasy Fashion League. Apparently the founder was sick of her husband's obsession (and for most men it does border on that) with fantasy football, so she decided to create something for herself. While it is not nearly as popular as its counterpart, I think her idea is genius and I plan to join a league next season; honestly, I think I'd even have a shot at winning it. And this is only after a skim of the page and a scroll through the rules. This being said, after spending hours listening to my guy friends talk about rushing yards and running backs, surfing the Web and even purchasing and reading a fantasy-football magazine (they do exist), I still understand Fantasy Fashion League about a hundred times better than I do fantasy football.

The concept of your man's fixation is pretty simple, ladies, so don't let the extensive terminology and Paul Maguire's voice intimidate you. Basically it's a game (although for most guys it is way more than a game -- it's more like somewhere between a political view and religion). It is played online and it essentially gives your boyfriend a purpose for doing idiotic things like screaming at people on the television (who can't hear him ...), pretending like he's so involved with the game that he can't get up to get himself a beer, and breaking your remote. That said, it is also related to football in other ways.

Fantasy football allows people to manage and coach their own team and compete against other teams, which all together make up a league. I know, you're probably already lost, but try to bear with me. They keep track of points by calculating the real players' stats from the actual NFL games (i.e. rushing yards and touchdowns ... if you don't know what rushing yards are, that's OK; neither do I). Then at the end of the season, depending on points, one person is the winner. Sometimes the winner is awarded with a cash prize, other times it is simply bragging rights. In many cases bragging rights are just as good as cash. It's not like when you were in high school and instead of five dollars for every 'A' on your report card you just got a big hug from your parents.

Before you can win it, though, there is a lot more that needs to be done. One of the most crucial parts of fantasy football happens on one day. I'm not talking about the Super Bowl -- I'm talking about draft day. This is the day when guys sit around and take turns picking out the players who will make up their teams. Now, I'm about as dumb as bricks when it comes to football players' rankings, but I still think this would be fun. Fantasy Fashion League has a similar draft where you get to pick which celebrities and designers are on your team. Personally I would kill for Nicole Richie, Eva Longoria or Dolce & Gabbana, but that's just me. The other part that I found fun, knowledge about football withstanding, is that you get to pick which players on your team compete each week and submit a starting lineup.

While I still know way too little about the sport to participate in this football fan's wet dream, I have developed a greater understanding for everyone's addiction, and honestly, I'm kind of in awe of everything you need to know to really "get" fantasy football. I went into it thinking that if the seventh-year senior at my school can grasp this, I can, too. And I'm not afraid to admit it: I was wrong. But even though I can see into the obsession a bit more and I have made the connection between Terrell Owens' broken finger and my broken remote, I will still make an effort to keep this "fantasy" separate from my "reality," and the guy I'm seeing can go and get himself a beer.

 

 

I am currently a writing intern for Resource Magazine (www.resourcemagonline.com), a photography production magazine.  I do copyediting, research, and writing for them at their office in Brooklyn.  I'm also going to be the Assistant Managing Producer for the play A Midsummer Night's Dream done by the New Theatre House, here is a link that describes the company:  http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/620913265/new-theater-house-presents-midsummer  I also hostess at Hotel Griffou in the West Village and continue to write my column for Points in Case.  

I wrote this piece a few years ago for Sports Illustrated (SIoncampus.com).  This was something that sprung out of a column that I write for the website www.pointsincase.com.  I've done a lot of creative non-fiction type of work ever since I started writing.  I think it's important to make sure that you're having fun with what you're doing.  I like to switch it up, making sure that I have some comedy in there somewhere at all times.     

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